Self Control

ea. osei
1 min readAug 22, 2020
Frank Ocean live @ Way Out West (2017)

“You made me lose my self control”

the feeling so visceral

the memories hit in waves

i miss the way you fell into my life

a natural disaster of everything i needed

Of everything I convinced myself that I needed

you came and wrecked the order of my heart

you made me love the thrill

the chaos, distractions and

i loved being everything i didn’t think i was

i loved you for bringing it out of me

and as quickly as you arrived, you left

memories stayed

looking around me, debris everywhere

made of pieces of my heart

and scraps of letters that never made it to you

the waves of your departure rocked the boat

and all I can ask is for relief

e. a. 2019

in honor of blonde’s 4 year anniversary, it lives in my heart forever